Late-night television returned to the air at almost full strength Tuesday night (The Daily Show is back next week), and, fittingly for a ferocious street fight, it was on: slashing and mocking at close quarters.
The absence of Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert for numerous weeks this summer did absolutely nothing to soften the comic assault on a President these hosts see as everything wrong and funny, the rueful version, about America.
Or as Kimmel, who came back from his extended two-plus month hiatus breathing anti-Trump fire, put it, the summer was “non-stop craptastic.”
So much White House-driven insanity happened while the hosts were away that each show ran through a litany of mind-boggling events in what amounted to medleys of mercurial madness. Kimmel even had to consult from a list in his hand the choices were so extensive.
One highlight: he blamed Trump for canceling research into pediatric brain cancer in children. “You would think a person who himself has the brain of a child would be in favor of funding pediatric brain cancer research,” Kimmel said.
These lists of best (or worst, from the hosts’ point of view) Trump hits of summer were far from comprehensive.
How could they be when new stuff from just this past weekend demanded attention; everything from mysterious garbage bags being thrown from the windows of the White House, to rampant speculation that Trump might have died because he wasn’t on TV for three or four days and he looked pasty and bruised.
All that had to be served and examined. And jokes of a similar bent emanated each of the shows—including Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers on NBC.
Throughout, the shadow of CBS’s cancelation of Colbert’s Late Show loomed over the refreshed late-night proceedings. Colbert referenced it with his guest, John Oliver, after he introduced a “Funko Pop” doll made in his image (cute, with glasses). The two hosts toasted the toy with champagne.
“To Funko Pops, while supplies last,” Oliver said; Colbert added the coda, “To late-night hosts, while supplies last.”
Kimmel acknowledged that he had often been asked about Colbert cancelation while out and about during his time off, and he took a not-very-veiled shot at CBS for blaming financial losses for the decision to ax Colbert.
Kimmel was just getting warmed up. He quoted a Trump message saying, “Jimmy Kimmel is the next to go in the untalented late-night sweepstakes.”
Addressing Trump, he said, “Oh you delicate chubby little tea cup. You want us to be cancelled because we make jokes about you? I thought you were against cancel culture.”
He went on to serve up a side order of a little late-night news: “Unfortunately for Frosty the Snowflake, the only place we are going is to New York.”
That was the official announcement that Kimmel will be bringing his show back to his native Brooklyn for another week of shows the week of September 29.
Kimmel also announced one confirmed guest booking for the New York shows. “My friend, Stephen Colbert, will be on.”
Kimmel was involved himself in a bit of news this summer, when it was revealed that he’d secured dual citizenship from Italy. Of course, the MAGA propaganda machine made much of that, suggesting Kimmel was moving to Italy, fleeing the jousting field out of some sort of cowardice in the face of Trump’s relentless attacks on him.
“Jimmy Kimmel’s so scared he’s drafting an escape plan,” was one take on Fox News.
Not happening, Kimmel said. “This is my country. I have no intention of running away from it, especially because of Donald Trump. Let me tell you something: I would move into Mar-A-Lago if I could, just to drive him insane.”
Was he making other news? Is he no longer considering wrapping up his run on ABC when his contract runs out?
Maybe not. That may just be the fire-breathing talking. But Kimmel certainly sounded like he was girding his loins for the long fight against the Trump agenda.
Not coincidentally (because they have the same manager, James “Baby Doll” Dixon) Kimmel’s contract is exactly contemporaneous with Colbert’s. It’s up in May. That will be Colbert’s last month.
Colbert was kicking off his show’s 11th season last night, and the show, far from bemoaning its fate openly embraced it in a cold open about “the final season,” punctuated with portentous narration about “all the questions being answered.”
If there was still question about what the main (and indeed exclusive) subject of Colbert’s monologue would be, that got answered the moment the audience ovation for the host died down. He swung right into the “is Trump dead?” speculation.
Followed by the trash bags being defenestrated from the White House.
The anti-MAGA jokes may have been pointed (and Trump would surely call them “nasty”), but the hosts were clearly having fun
Never more so than when Colbert shifted focus temporarily to Vice President JD Vance. Vance appeared in a clip showing him getting severely heckled—referencing his alleged couch romance—while walking through Union Station in Washington.
Colbert said there is no truth to that rumor because “He’s in a train station; he’s going to bang a bench.”
Surprisingly, for such “untalented” guys, the hosts generated a lot of mirth on late night last night. Oliver, Colbert’s most frequent guest, enthused about his fandom for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City but added a soupcon of spice by noting that he was essentially promoting an NBC-owned show (on Bravo), which likely did not make CBS happy.
And then they toasted to that.
Kimmel’s A-guest Denzel Washington created a memorable moment when he talked about being close to Lenny Kravitz, and proved it by facetiming the actor live on the air. Kravitz handled the moment well, and Kimmel got an entertaining segment that rewarded anyone who decided to stay up late.
Lost in the thrust and parry of critique and threat is that late-night shows have always worked when they seamlessly move from hard-joke monologue to some unexpected and thus entertaining conversation.
It remains hard to imagine late night, or television, without that mix of bitter and sweet.
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Yay Jimmy Kimmel really deserved the standing ovation!!! we were clapping /shouting “Jimmy, Jimmy”for him too at home and neighbors prob heard!! but Jimmy I’m sorry but wish you’d skip the Pres penis jokes. They’re tasteless and not funny to me. You can do better than that? Sorry. Just so glad you’re back!!
Barbara cont’d: penis jokes “way below the belt”!
Kimmel and Colbert used to be funny. Now? Their political rants, night after night have people tuning out. Time for a change with late night. It’s gotten super boring. Colbert got canned, Kimmel will be next. Hope he doesn’t start crying again on national TV. That was SUPER cringe.
Cry harder for us, Wendell Douchnozzle! Those tears of yours is delish!
What exactly is a “‘MAGA’ Propaganda Machine?” You can’t get over how badly Democrats lost and how “60 Minutes” lost ALL of their Credibility. It is a shame that there has to be Politics on this website. Jimmy and Stephen are at the end of their perspective roads because the marketplace has dictated change. More American People Voted for President Trump. Fact.
Less that 50 percent of the popular vote is not a mandate to do whatever the fuck Drumpf and you retarded MAGAts want to do! And it’s playing itself out in real time, as more and more Americans are getting angrier at your Dear Toddler!
Cope, you retarded cunt!
here come the magats…
if only everybody could have the talent of a Gutfeld
Not much talent in being a humorless dickhole!