Mon Night Monologues: Flaming GOP Hypocrisy

Jimmy Kimmel’s return to the airwaves set the tone for Monday’s monologues, as most hosts continued to urge their fellow Americans to help those affected by the devastating California wildfires—even as they lambasted Republicans for politicizing a still-happening mass tragedy. Here’s our round-up of the night’s best lines from across the dial.

Jon Stewart

YouTube player

In running down the ways in which conservatives are lining up to attach conditions to California wildfire relief and spew blame at everything except climate change, Jon Stewart broke a usual Daily Show pattern. “It doesn’t even matter, I’m not gonna even do it,” Stewart stated, explaining that playing clips of Republicans’ past and present disaster aid hypocrisy has become a fool’s errand.

With escalating disdain, Stewart ripped into those GOP officials threatening to withhold relief unless California knuckles under to Donald Trump’s agenda by noting that when the disaster tables are turned, Democrats do no such thing. Because, as Stewart put it, “We’re not f**king psychos.” As he continued, red state disasters are simple acts of nature, whereas, according to conservatives, such cataclysms in blue states are “a function of their flawed morality and policies.”

Stewart dissected the myriad of environmental, climate, forest management, and infrastructure factors that contributed to this still-raging disaster, even playing a clip of noted MAGA figure Joe Rogan backing up his claims. When Stewart did play clips of Fox News, Elon Musk, Donald Trump and others blaming the fires on [checks list] a lesbian fire chief, a woman mayor, immigration, and (from noted conspiracy peddlers Alex Jones and Marjorie Taylor Greene) mysterious weather-controlling powers, it was to excoriate those safe and sound talking heads for using these wildfires to “reinforce whatever grudge these people have against California.”

Pulling from some boots-on-the-ground examples, Stewart noted how Mexico has sent much-needed firefighter support to help their beleaguered neighbor (“I guess they are sending us their best”), and how even embattled Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has offered 150 first responders to the cause. As Stewart put it, “We’re so f**ked that a country that has been relentlessly bombed for almost three years was like, ‘You poor bastards.'”

Jimmy Kimmel

YouTube player

It was an emotional night for Jimmy Kimmel as he made his return to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Having shut down last week because of the wildfires (Kimmel showed a picture of flames looming dangerously close to his Hollywood studio), the ABC host took to the reopened stage on Monday and delivered a largely joke-free homage to his fellow Angelenos affected by the disaster.

Like Stewart, Kimmel expressed disgust at the Republican rush to lay blame, blackmail California, and sow conspiracies, telling his audience, “I don’t want to get into all the vile and irresponsible and stupid things our alleged future president and his gaggle of scumbags chose to say during our darkest and most terrifying hour.” A furious Kimmel took on conservatives for blaming diversity hiring practices for the disaster as well, attacking the underlying message that brave firefighters “apparently aren’t white enough to be out there risking their lives.”

Instead, a tearful Kimmel urged love and support to those, including some of his staff, who’ve lost their homes, and praised those rushing in to help. Calling the still-dangerous ordeal “a sickening, shocking, awful experience,” Kimmel thanked the firefighters, National Guard soldiers, police, and volunteers (some of whom lost their own homes) who have done truly super-heroic work, unlike those fake Spider-Mans and Captains America who routinely congregate outside his studio. “They did not help us at all,” Kimmel joked.

And that praise goes for actor Steve Guttenberg too, whose caught-on-camera efforts to direct traffic away from afflicted areas brought the Police Academy star to unexpected prominence amidst the chaos last week. Interviewing a still-helping Guttenberg via a shaky cellphone connection, Kimmel pitched Guttenberg as the real-life Batman Los Angeles needs right now, only for the exhausted Gute to explain that what he really needs at the moment is some clean underwear.

Stephen Colbert

YouTube player

Pointing to the over $50 million in GoFundMe donations for fire victims, Stephen Colbert kicked off his Monday monologue by assuring Californians, “All of America sees you and is with you.” Well, most of America, anyway.

Colbert, too, was unsparing in his mockery of Republicans seizing the moment of one of the most unthinkable disasters in American history to peddle conspiracy theories, attack liberal policies, and threaten to withhold aid. “‘Hello 911? What’s in it for me?,'” was Colbert’s imitation of the GOP in a crisis they can exploit, as he chided Arizona Senator John Barrasso’s demand that California do things Republicans’ way if they want federal relief. “‘Yes,'” Colbert-as-Barrasso scolded, ‘We must demand changes to clearly liberal policies like… wind.'”

Climbing the GOP ladder, the CBS host next went after Donald Trump, whose insulting social media attacks on California Democrats Colbert mockingly termed “a tradition for the president to bully and demean the governor of the state where the tragedy is occurring.” (Cue photoshopped picture of Barack Obama giving Chris Christie a wedgie after Hurricane Sandy.)

Colbert stuck with the Trump clan, making fun of reports that Don Jr’s recent trip to Greenland to drum up public support for his dad’s plot to take over that country involved him paying homeless people to put on branded MAGA hats. Roping in another Trump-adjacent figure, Colbert joked of the PR stunt, “Not only is that sad, it also explains the newest Greenlander, Roödy Giuüliaaæni.”

Seth Meyers

YouTube player

With a mere week before a second Donald Trump presidential term commences, Seth Meyers noted, “I’m really doing my best to find joy wherever I can amidst the darkness .” Thankfully for him, MAGA world has succumbed to preemptive infighting, with Trump loyalist Steve Bannon lambasting Elon Musk, going so far as threatening to “rip [Musk’s] face off.”

As Meyers noted, this animosity partly stems from Musk’s support of certain immigration visas for highly-skilled workers, something MAGA hardliners cannot abide. It’s a schism Meyers summed up by noting, “Elon Musk and Steve Bannon finally answer the question, ‘Is there anything Republicans won’t blame on wokeness?’ Because the wokes’ hands are clean on this one.”

As for the incoming president, Meyers, showing clips of Trump’s contradictory statements on the topic, suggested the confusion comes from Trump “having no fixed principles, or core beliefs, or coherent ideas, or constructive solutions or plans or proposals or policies or values or thoughts of any kind.” As Meyers concluded, “He’s basically an intellectual Roomba. He goes in one direction until he bumps into something and then he just goes off into another direction.”

Jimmy Fallon

YouTube player

Prepping for his big co-hosting Monday Tonight Show with guest and subway busking pal Bad Bunny, Jimmy Fallon did his monologue as usual—before Bunny and a raucous band interrupted the proceedings.

Addressing the fact that the Supreme Court appears prepared to uphold the ban on TikTok next week, Fallon noted that Clarence Thomas has been seen performing the tortilla slap challenge on colleague Brett Kavanaugh. He also counseled viewers upset at the potential loss of their favorite social media app that, “Once RFK Jr takes office, we’ll still have plenty of things that go viral.”

On the political front, Fallon was content to joke about the other alleged fracture in the Trump orbit, that between the incoming president and his wife. Noting how Melania Trump has announced that she will live full time at the White House after all, Fallon noted, “You know you’ve got an interesting marriage when the big question is, ‘Are you going to live with your husband?'” He also suggested that Mar-a-Lago renter Elon Musk is excited that he gets Trump all to himself.

Jumping to the announced partnership of Delta Airlines and Draft Kings, Fallon questioned the wisdom of introducing wagering to air travel, noting, “Soon you’ll be able to bet on which passenger goes full Karen on the flight attendant.” He also suggested that real gamblers fly Spirit.

Receive our daily monologue round-ups via email: sign up here.

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *