Anyone who thought Pete Hegseth‘s very bad, no good week would elude Saturday Night Live‘s crosshairs was wrong.
The NBC sketch show kicked off this weekend’s Melissa McCarthy-hosted episode with Colin Jost again playing Donald Trump’s defense secretary, this time contending with a gaggle of reporters armed with questions about alleged war crimes.
Jeremy Culhane as Hegseth’s press sec introduced the “Secretary of War” with pro wrestling-like fanfare. Jost’s Hegseth arrived at the lectern pounding an energy drink, then got to ejecting the “fatties” amongst the press pool. (Sorry, Andrew Dismukes!)
“Got questions for me? Fine. Pretend I’m a random fishing boat and fire away!” Hegseth said.
Journos played by Mikey Day and Ashley Padilla led with the first questions about what Hegseth touted as “Operation Kill Everybody,” including how detractors are saying he comes off as “playing Army.”
“If I were just ‘playing Army,’ would there be 80 dead fisherman, er, narco-terrorists?” he countered, before “correcting” the death toll to a mere seven.
Sarah Sherman showed up in highly disconcerting Matt Gaetz prosthetics/wig to confirm that boats are only being targeted for moving drugs. “If someone were trafficking something else, they’d be OK…?” the embattled ex-congressman creepily asked. When Hegseth affirmed as much, Gaetz let slip a “Giggity!”
Jost-as-Hegseth assured the press that President Trump “has my back, 100%,” adding: “Unlike you beta cucks, he’s a high-energy alpha.” And… cut to James Austin Johnson’s POTUS, snoozing in a nearby chair and apparently dreaming about New York City mayor-elect/recent Oval Office visitor Zohran Mamdani. Nudged awake, Trump blurted, “Who am I, where am I, and what year might it be?”
Trump seized the lectern to explain that his Secretary of War’s new, misused catchphrase, “Fog of war,” is merely “a thing you only say after doing war crime.” But have his back, he will — unless there’s blowback on the White House. Then, “I’ll throw him under one of Mamdani’s free buses.”
When the president dozed off yet again, Hegseth jumped back into frame to say, “We’ve got to get him to another MRI before he wakes up!” Jost and JAJ then joined in the “Live, from New York…!” opener.
This marked Jost’s third time playing Hegseth on SNL. He originated the role last May, and last played the so-called Secretary of War in the show’s Season 51 opener.
The cold open kicked off a new three-episode run this December that will close out the first half of SNL‘s 51st season. Josh O’Connor (Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery) and Ariana Grande are set to host the year’s final two episodes.
