With all but one of the late-night shows returning from their holiday hiatus, Monday night’s monologues saw the hosts playing catch-up with jokes about everything from two major violent suspected terrorist attacks, to the start of awards show season, a world leader’s surprise resignation, the death of one ex-President, and the unlikely congressional recertification of another. Here’s our round-up of the night’s best laughs from across the dial.
Stephen Colbert
On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert responded to the chorus of boos greeting his set-up concerning Monday’s quick certification of Donald Trump’s election victory by noting, “Yes, I used to feel things, too.”
Colbert, though, went on to demonstrate that he still had room for a little outrage at Donald Trump being peacefully affirmed president-elect four years to the day since he incited a riot to prevent that very thing from happening, noting of the contrast between then and now, “There was no riot. No one broke a window with their beard.” He then delivered a somber rundown of the cause, violent nature, and fallout of Trump’s 2001 treason-tantrum, concluding with the riposte to Trump’s revisionist history of calling it “a day of love” by deadpanning, “Yes, on January 6, love was in the air. Also bear spray.”
Perhaps anticipating the needs of himself and others heading into a second Trump administration, Colbert complained about the Surgeon General’s recent recommendation for cancer warnings on alcohol. Pulling out another of his ever-ready (and very real) monologue cocktails, Colbert admitted that the health risks of drinking alcohol, including cancer, are very also real. “Well, luckily,” he added, taking a long sip, “I’m a Taurus.”
Jon Stewart
The Daily Show‘s designated Monday host Jon Stewart pulled a little switcheroo while introducing his January 6 coverage, showing footage of the frigid snowstorm that hit Washington D.C. on Monday while noting, once again, “a blanket of angry white descending on the Capitol.” Only this time, as he reminded viewers, “with a lot less bear spray and Confederate flags.”
For Stewart, the spectacle of watching Kamala Harris certify the victory of her opponent to the sound of whooping Republicans was the final insult to the Vice President. “She’s like, ‘Um, I can hear you,’ Stewart imagined Harris thinking as she classily fulfilled her obligations, while he marveled at how smoothly the peaceful transfer of power in a democracy can go “when you don’t act like a little bitch when you lose.”
From one queasy day in America to another, Stewart also took on the two vehicle-based attacks that kicked off 2025 with what’s become the nation’s customary mood of helpless shell shock. First decrying the way in which both professional and online commentators leapt to whichever conclusions about the New Orleans and Las Vegas attackers would “validate or invalidate their previously held political viewpoints,” Stewart threw up his hands at the seeming “normality” of both now-deceased killers.
Noting the “basic bitch” motivational posters in a work video posted by the man who plowed a truck into New Orleans New Year’s Eve revelers and the pro-Trump and Musk digital footprint of the man who blew up his Tesla in front of one of Donald Trump’s hotels, Stewart could only note of the latter, “blowing up someone’s sh*t in front of more of their sh*t is what we in the therapy business call a mixed message.”
As for what underlies the “societal tenuousness” that sees disenchanted men turn to the unthinkable, Stewart could only offer the sage advice: “How ‘bout you don’t kill everybody?,” while adding, “Get a f*ckin’ podcast.” (And no, he will not be on it, so don’t ask.)
Taylor Tomlinson
For the After Midnight host, getting back to work was all about staying focused—at least until she spotted that huge rock on Zendaya’s finger at Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony.
Sticking with the still-rehabbing-its-image awards night, Tomlinson heaped praise on Demi Moore, who won her first-ever acting honor (for Best Performance by a Female Actor in a Musical or Comedy) at age 62 for her turn in that wacky musical romp [checks notes] The Substance. Still, as Tomlinson noted, “Turns out 62 is the new 32, which makes me not even born yet.”
Speaking of age, Tomlinson segued into the unfortunate nickname grafted onto babies being born into what the powers that be have decided is “Generation Beta.” “They’re not even born yet and we’re already bullying them?,” Tomlinson asked incredulously, before noting how these new Earth citizens’ future as “Gen Future Solders for the Water Wars” will actually be the toughest generation yet. “They’re going to be hunting us Millennials for meat,” was Tomlinson’s prediction.
Addressing one world leader exiting as another slinks back in the door, Tomlinson put up a photo of alleged CEO killer Luigi Mangione and speculated how Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s resignation suggests that he knows “a younger, hotter health care advocate has entered the villa.”
Further suggesting that Mangione’s many supporters might succeed in bullying outgoing President Joe Biden into a pardon, Tomlinson urged haste, predicting, “We know Donald Trump isn’t going to pardon him because he wasn’t at the Capitol.”
Jimmy Kimmel
The first Jimmy Kimmel Live! of 2025 saw its host take issue with those same Golden Globes. No, not with widely praised host Nikki Glaser, or even the winners and losers. Instead, Kimmel pointed to Best Supporting Actor winner Kieran Culkin’s admission that he’d been doing red carpet tequila shots with interviewer Mario Lopez, noting angrily that it was sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez who pioneered the pre-awards show tequila ritual. Proposing a Saved By the Bell remake with Rodriguez donning A.C. Slater’s trademark shades, Kimmel promised, “When they go Lopez, we go even lower-pez around here.”
Living up to that credo, Kimmel joined his late-night colleagues in mocking the spectacle of Donald Trump being certified by the same body he sent scurrying for cover from his rioting supporters four years ago.
“This one went off without Ted Cruz having to hide in a broom closet,” Kimmel joked, while noting that Kamala Harris having to announce the result “was like making your ex deejay your wedding.” He did wish one Trump a good day, noting that Donald Trump failed to do so for son Eric, whose birthday coincidentally falls on January 6.
“It’s actually very convenient that Eric’s birthday is on January 6,” noted Kimmel. “That way, Trump only has to remember the two biggest mistakes he ever made on one day.”Â
On a more (sort-of) respectful note, Kimmel could only chuckle at how badly a Georgia reporter mangled news of former President Jimmy Carter’s recent passing. After the unfortunate live reporter repeatedly called the 100-year-old leader and philanthropist a “homeboy” (rather than the intended “hometown boy”), Kimmel tried to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, noting of the Habitat for Humanity legend, “He did build a lot of homes.”
Jimmy Fallon
The Tonight Show breezed past the heavier stuff, as is Jimmy Fallon’s style, in favor of some comic rumination on the New Year.
With Dry January in effect, Fallon sized up the traditional no-booze resolution as “the month when millions of Americans go a whole week without drinking.” (Fallon didn’t take the Colbert route and mock the ritual with a cocktail, however.)
Doubling down, he also pointed to a donut team-up from confectionary giants Pop-Tarts and Krispy Kreme by imagining the companies “listening to everyone’s New Year’s resolutions and being like, ‘Not on our watch!'”
Of course, even Fallon isn’t all booze and pastries, as he addressed the swirling rumors of discontent between right-wing BFF’s Donald Trump and Elon Musk. Imagining Trump attempting to ditch his unelected billionaire shadow with a quick hop into a Mar-a-Lago broom closet, Fallon further speculated an annoyed Melania scolding, ‘Hey, get your own spot.'” Channeling the apparent Trump-Musk schism in streaming terms, Fallon noted, “In two months, Trump and Elon went from Love Is Blind to Baby Reindeer.”
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late night talk show hosts are delusional and should seek professional help.to be a comedian and be so obsessed as to vote for a dementia patient that has done nothing but steal from the American people his entire life over someone as accomplished as Donald Trump is mind boggling