“It’s like my mom always used to say: sh*t or get off the lawn.”
Those were the wise words Triumph the Insult Comic Dog shared on The Daily Show Wednesday night as he tried to convince a group of eight undecided voters to make up their minds. From the very beginning of the focus group-style segment, it was clear that the cigar-chomping puppet knew he had his work cut out for him. And yet he persisted.
“As undecideds, let’s go around the room,” Triumph instructed the would-be voters, who have yet to make up their minds between Donald Trump or Joe Biden, as the 2024 presidential election looms ever closer. “Tell us your name and what your f*cking problem is.”
Triumph’s targets in the six-minute package included both the panel participants and the candidates (including Robert F. Kennedy Jr) .
Speaking about the first presidential debate, which will air tonight, Triumph asked: “Do you hope the moderators will ask Trump and Biden the really tough questions? Like, ‘Do you know where you are?’ and ‘Can you breathe on this mirror?’”
At one point, the Montenegrin Mountain Hound brought out two sandwiches—one covered in mold, the other wearing a tiny red MAGA hat—and asked the group to choose one or the other. “One is old and moldy, and the other has chlamydia,” Triumph explained. “Raise your [right] hand if you’re eating the sandwich on its deathbed. Or, raise your left hand if you want the sandwich that we have on tape using the N-word.”
When one participant admitted said that he’s thinking of voting for Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Triumph didn’t hesitate in offering his opinion of the independent candiate: “RFK Jr. Interesting. Also known as the evidence that the Kennedys f*ck each other.”
In the end, seemingly sensing that he had not persuaded anyone to choose a candidate, Triumph wrapped up the session by telling the group that “We’ll see you in four years—when you can’t decide between voting for AOC or Kyle Rittenhouse.”
Triumph, the brainchild of writer Robert Smigel, began his life on Late Night with Conan O’Brien, on which Smigel was head writer. Today, the wisecracking hand puppet’s newest shtick is usually shared on his YouTube channel, where he released a new live comedy special in March, and reported from outside the Manhattan courthouse where Donald Trump’s hush money trial was being held in April.
