On-stage at last year’s Disney upfront presentation to the ad-buying community, Jimmy Kimmel said, “I might not see you again. This could be it.”
Kimmel was teeing up a joke about AI stealing everyone’s jobs. But in retrospect—given the seismic events that have rocked late-night TV over the last year—his comment could have proved prescient.
The host of ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, though, did return to the Javits Center on Tuesday afternoon, to deliver his annual, roast-style remarks at Disney’s 2026 upfront.
“I know, I didn’t think I’d see you guys again either,” he said upon taking the stage, adding: “The bad boy of data and measurement solutions is back.”
“I have to admit, I’ve been through so much bullsh*t this year it made me appreciate this bullsh*t,” he continued, alluding to the annual gig he once likened to “a prostate exam.”
Starting in on the nature of his late-night program’s September suspension—triggered by President Trump’s FCC nudging affiliates to pull JKL—Kimmel said, “Usually in order for ABC to pull you off the air you have to throw a chair at your Mormon boyfriend,” referencing this spring’s quickly yanked season of The Bachelorette.
With a nod to the more recent drama he has weathered, “Yes, the president has tried to get me fired twice over the last six months—that’s one way to look at it,” he told ad buyers. “You could also say I’ve generated unparalleled engagement across a variety of platforms.”
Speaking Trump’s language—ratings— Kimmel said, “This year, largely thanks to our partners in Washington, we are up 25% among viewers 18-49.” That said, “if Johnny Carson woke up one day with my ratings, he’d have gone straight under the sink and chugged all the Drāno he found there.”
“I’ve cost our company a lot of money this year. Billions,” Kimmel said with purposeful exaggeration. “It is very possible that no employee in the history of any company has cost their employer more. Hiring me, 24 years ago, just from a purely mathematical standpoint, was the worst personnel decision the Disney corporation has ever made.
“Not even the captain of the Exxon Valdez did more damage,” he continued, ” so it’d help me a lot if you could kick in a little extra this year.”
Cue Jimmy Kimmel Live! sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez navigating the aisles with a collection basket. (He wound up amassing “seven dollars, and a tennis ball.”)
The woes of late-night peer Stephen Colbert, with whom Kimmel and the rest of Strike Force Five visited on Monday night’s Late Show, also got mention.
“As you know, CBS is turning 11:35 into a leased time slot—as in least likely to offend the president with a rerun of Comics Unleashed from 2007 featuring Paula Poundstone and Andy Dick.
“Poor Stephen, it’s bad enough to lose your job,” he added. “Imagine getting replaced by the owner of The Weather Channel.”
Kimmel poked fun at rival networks, including NBC and its many Chicago shows, Fox’s Baywatch reboot (“for those who watched the first 11 seasons and thought, ‘but that can’t be the whole story'”), and CBS’ latest, New York-set NCIS offshoot (“which answers the question, ‘What if LL Cool J partnered up with another white guy in a different city?'”).
Kimmel’s home network was fair game too, as always. “As for us at ABC, except for all the domestic violence, we’re doing really great,” he said. “Dancing with the Stars is hotter than your grandma’s underpants at a Michael Buble show.”
With ABC hosting its first Super Bowl in 20 years on Valentine’s Day 2027, “we are gonna milk the bejesus out of it,” he assured the crowd. “And let me tell you what, the halftime show this year is gonna be the whitest sh*t you’ve ever seen. Goodbye, Bad Bunny. Welcome back, O-Town.”
Kimmel closed his set by saying, “Now that’s it for me, probably forever”—though his current ABC deal doesn’t expire for another year. He then introduced his 11-year-old daughter, Jane, who teed up a performance by Olivia Rodrigo. The younger Kimmel later helped Rodrigo close out her mini concert, accompanying the singer for the closing lines of her song “drop dead.”
Kimmel’s upfront appearance-as-usual was notable due to the fact that, with a recent JKL sketch, he drew Donald Trump‘s ire anew by likening first lady Melania Trump to an “expectant widow” two days before an alleged assassination attempt at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
The fallout was swift. Melania Trump, the president, and other administration officials launched a new pressure campaign against Kimmel, publicly calling on ABC to fire him. A day later—and following a fiery on-air response from Kimmel—the FCC ordered an early license review of ABC’s owned-and-operated stations over their DEI policies. (FCC chair Brendan Carr has insisted the timing is unrelated.)
Save for 2023 (when he didn’t attend due to the WGA strike), Kimmel has performed a comedy set at the ABC upfront for more than 15 years.
yes Jimmy Kimmel FU to censorship of free speech