Jon Stewart Just Delivered His Longest Daily Show Monologue Ever—And One of His Strongest

For a few minutes there, Elon Musk had us thinking he was actually serious about coming on The Daily Show to debate Jon Stewart about the glories of DOGE, and not just pulling another “let’s have a cage fight” like he did with Mark Zuckerberg, only to later claim an injury, or want to have a practice fight first, or claim he might be in outer space that week, or whatever.

It’s clearly not likely to happen, and Jon Stewart knows it. So when he returned to his regular Monday night perch at The Daily Show last night, he didn’t try to butter Musk up, thinking, like some TV mastermind, that with a little abject groveling to Musk’s superior intellect and sterling character, he might generate a massive TV event for himself and his show.

Nope. Instead, Stewart let Musk know exactly the kind of ferocity of funniness he’d be facing by putting on a true tour-de-force performance that displayed his singular talents as a truly funny late-night comic with the uncanny ability to boil down what’s happening in the world to its ultimate grotesque absurdity.

It also happened to be the longest opening monologue he’s ever delivered on The Daily Show, clocking in at 24-plus minutes.

Stewart obviously wanted to deal with Musk first, to take on that message Musk fired off following The Daily Show host’s takedown of DOGE’s reign of administrative terror last Monday. That’s when Stewart also sliced his hand open with a shard of ceramic from the mug he smashed on his desk in faux rage. (Said mug was replaced this week with an indestructible sippy cup.)

In response to Musk’s initial prerequisite to sitting down on The Daily Show, that the interview air unedited, Stewart echoed his show’s social media response last week, saying he could certainly be accommodating, adding that the show’s in-studio interviews usually air unedited anyway.

Furthermore, Stewart said he could offer Musk as much time as he’d like—15 minutes, an hour, 2 hours—pointing out that his network, Comedy Central, doesn’t have any other original programming that would preclude the show from running over… at least until the next new season of South Park, in May or June of 2026.

An interview with Elon Musk? Jon Stewart would be delighted! pic.twitter.com/0Ougl2Hv5E

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 4, 2025

Of course, shortly after Musk’s initial post (and The Daily Show’s reply that it would “be delighted” to air his interview unedited), the billionaire began backing away, posting to his social media platform that “Jon Stewart can not be trusted” because he’s “partisan.”

Good thing his new mug is plastic because this raised Stewart’s righteous comic hackles, and set his mock machine on full blast. His target? The partisan credentials of a guy who wears a custom black MAGA hat to the White House and supports the Nazi-curious AfD party in Germany.

Stewart said he would certainly book the interview if Musk somehow was still willing. “But can we just drop the pretense that I won’t measure up to the standards of neutral discourse that you demand and display at all times?” Stewart said. “Because, quite frankly, that’s bullsh*t. You know it [and] I know it.”

Stewart then shifted to the Oval Office encounter last Friday between Donald Trump, JD Vance and the president of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Though this globally covered incident has inspired commentary both dramatic and disdainful across world media, surely no one has delivered as pointed, precise and hilarious a metaphor as Stewart came up with:

Professional wrestling.

As it happens, wrestling is a passion of Stewart’s.  “I know this in my bones,” he explained, before describing the big wrestling event of the weekend: the sudden turn of longtime wrestling good guy (a “babyface” in the ring vernacular) John Cena, into an out-and-out “heel” (more jargon), who betrayed current good guy champ Cody Rhodes with a sneaky “nut shot”  (a kick to the crotch.) The act induced horror among shocked fans.

.@JonStewart breaks down how Trump and Zelenskyy's meeting turned into a WWE Smackdown pic.twitter.com/XIXMMozI5v

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) March 4, 2025

Yes, wrestling is a funny metaphor, but it’s also a devastatingly perfect one for the gang-up turn against Zelenskyy by a former ally (the US) at the direction of an evil mastermind (The Rock, standing in for Putin) who literally told Rhodes/Zelenskyy, “I want your soul.”

And, Stewart said, the nut shot was what Putin/Trump delivered to “the hopes and dreams of Ukrainians everywhere.” 

That set off a thorough evisceration of the turn against Ukraine and the concerted support of the move by Trump’s political allies and the MAGA press. Included: some special nut shots for the absurd straw-man comparison of total capitulation of Ukraine or World War III.

Stewart shot down that ludicrous comparison using the unarguable point that almost any dreadful thing is more acceptable than World War III. For example, Stewart cited something recent and relevant:

“You can listen to the Emilia Perez composer freestyle another f***ing verse at the Oscars; or World War III.”

He made it sound like a less than easy choice, but ultimately you’re going to have to endure the singing.

Even if Musk made it that far thinking this interview was still doable, he surely didn’t get by the clips of Russia media celebrating Trump and the world-class obsequiousness of British prime minister Keir Starmer, which Stewart illustrated with some representative hand gestures of the most intimate kind.

Nor the final conclusion, illustrated by the wrestling “heel turn.” (Apparently another wrestling term you know if you have wrestling in your bones):

“Trump and the Republicans like Putin better.”

He surely won’t like the fact that Stewart is so partisan he roots for the good guy.

Watch Stewart’s full 24-minute monologue below:

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