Taco Bell has spent the past two weeks assuring customers that it’s safe to eat there again. On Sunday, John Oliver offered the chain a stronger sales pitch: Come back—we’ll only give you the normal amount of diarrhea.
After nearly 2,000 cases of cyclosporiasis were linked to lettuce served at Taco Bell restaurants in mid-July, the chain quickly removed the affected produce and publicly disclosed the problem, earning praise for its swift and transparent response.
The company says sales have since stabilized, with customers returning after visits initially fell by nearly a third.
Oliver suggested Taco Bell take that approach a little further, introducing an even more transparent commercial made by Last Week Tonight.
Voiced by Adam Pally—no stranger to fast-food commercials after serving as the face and voice of Jimmy John’s—the ad opens with the chain acknowledging that many customers had been “sh*tting your brains out in a way that we never intended.”
“Taco Bell has always prided itself on two things,” Pally’s voiceover continues. “Having the wettest food in America, and only giving you the regular, normal level of diarrhea.”
The commercial tells customers that Taco Bell has temporarily removed lettuce, allowing them to enjoy its “Mexican food-adjacent menu” while avoiding “one narrow definition of gastrointestinal disease.”
“Again, we are not promising you won’t get regular diarrhea,” Pally warns. “I mean, you’ve seen our food, right? There’s something on the menu called Diablo Dusted Chicken Nuggets, okay?”
Instead, the ad says Taco Bell can only promise to “try not to give you the kind of diarrhea that will put you on the news.”
“And if that’s not enough, then frankly that’s on you, big guy,” it continues. “For eating something called the Beefy Potato Loaded Thriller. And you expected not to sh*t your pants?”
The fake commercial ends with a direct appeal to the chain’s most dependable customer base: “Taco Bell. Where else are you going to go when you’re drunk? F*cking Wendy’s?”
Watch Last Week Tonight’s full faux Taco Bell commercial at the top of this post.
