As Daily Show anchor Josh Johnson noted on Tuesday’s episode, Saturday’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner turned out to be “a terrifying and somber night.” As such, “Maybe we shouldn’t have sent Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to cover it.”
“But we did,” he continued, teeing up a pre-taped segment featuring Triumph (voiced/puppeteered by Robert Smigel) and his red carpet encounters with Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and others.
“So many of the biggest names in D.C. are here,” Triumph marvels at the top of the video, “such as REDACTED, and REDACTED….”
Noting this year’s lack of A-list star power, he remarked, “This thing needs a red carpet like The Olive Garden needs a velvet rope.”
Stars of a sort did start to show up, though Triumph had little success getting either of Fox News’ Doocys to bite at his questions. Still, the puppet fired off some choice lines, including asking Peter Doocy about featured entertainer Oz Pearlman: “If ‘The Mentalist’ asks Trump to pick a number, it’ll probably be under 18, would you agree?”
To Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, Triumph commented on the people there praising guest of honor Trump, adding: “Normally I’m the only one out here licking someone’s nuts.”
Triumph had Markwayne Mullin’s ear for a moment, grumbling, “I was shtupping a Mexican hairless and she was picked up by ICE”—though the Homeland Security Secretary deadpanned, “I don’t know if that’s funny or not.”
Embattled FBI boss Kash Patel wasn’t spotted, so Triumph instead bounced ideas off UFC CEO Dana White. “People need to stop complaining about Kash Patel drinking so much,” Triumph suggested. “If you know a better way to come down from how much cocaine he’s doing, I’d like to hear it.”
As the White House press secretary passed by, Triumph observed, “Karoline Leavitt is here—physically, I mean. Her soul left her body a year ago.”
“Where is Stephen Miller?” he then wondered aloud of Trump’s senior adviser. “I heard he’s stuck in a glue trap.”
And with Pete Hegseth in his sights, Triumph unsuccessfully bellowed to the defense secretary, “Where are we pre-gaming? And post-gaming? And mid-game-gaming?”
Triumph teased Cheryl Hines about being persona non grata in Hollywood, then beseeched her husband RFK Jr. from afar: “Please, Bobby! Can I see my brother one last time? He’s in your freezer.”
The segment wrapped with a relatively playful exchange with Secretary of State Marco Rubio.
“Just one question: Tell me which country you’re attacking next,” Triumph begged Rubio. “I’m trying to win some money on Polymarket, man! Just gimme a wink if it’s Kazakhstan!”
Watch Triumph’s full report at the top of this post.
