In September 1982, NFL football players went on strike. Earlier that year, the league had inked a broadcast deal with ABC, CBS, and NBC worth $1.8 billion, then the largest contract in the history of show business.
The 57-day strike would change player salaries forever. The players union would receive access to all player contracts. Medical rights and salaries were improved. Players also began to receive severance pay. “They’re talented and skilled, and they provide entertainment,” a labor professor told the New York Times. “Nobody complains that Frank Sinatra or Johnny Carson makes too much.”
Carson himself could not resist having a bit of fun at the league’s expense. Two days after the strike began, on the September 23, 1982 episode of The Tonight Show, Carson and his staff concocted a bit that, well, works and does not.
Huge news that it was, the strike also made its way into his monologue—not all the jokes age well, but here’s one: “The networks are searching. They’re going crazy for alternative sports programming,” Carson says. “So, Monday night, ABC, live from Romania, you will see the nude, barbed-wire vaulting.”
“The losers in that competition move on to the men’s finals in yodeling,” Carson adds.
Following the monologue, things get a little strange. Carson informs the audience that the show will not be taking sides on the dispute. But it occurred to them that because he would be interviewing Georgia Frontiere, then the owner of the Los Angeles Rams, on the broadcast, they should talk to a player and get their side of the story.
Carson then introduces Chuck Donaldson, an offensive tackle for the Green Bay Packers. Out walks Mr. Donaldson’s physique in no way suggests he plays in the National Football League, let alone the most important position on the offensive line. What is happening?
The host says he just met Donaldson before the show, and that many folks may not be familiar with him because he is a rookie. Carson then asks why the players are on strike. Donaldson goes on to explain that the players believe they should get a piece of the television money. “We had to do something really dramatic just to get the owners to the table,” he says. Is this real?
The conversation continues, with Carson bringing up the point made by critics of the strike, who say the players may be “alienating the fans.” “We hope that they’re going to have a lot of sympathy for us because we know they’re going to be missing good football games,” Donaldson says. “But at the same time, we’re missing our very livelihood too.” Okay, perhaps this is genuine?
Carson continues, raising the point that the average annual player salary is $96,000—the viewer may be thinking that’s a lot of money, he says. “But not compared to other sports,” Donaldson responds. “And our career is a lot, lot shorter.” Carson accepts this as a fair point.
Donaldson assures the viewers that he and the other players are continuing to stay in shape, and that they will be ready to take the field whenever the strike ends. Carson pivots. “I don’t mean to offend you by this next question,” he begins. “You’re a little on the thin side for a professional football player.” The game begins to slip away.
But the NFL rookie is ready for this. “TV adds a lot of weight to you,” he says. “You know that.” Carson agrees. “And with the equipment a football player has, it really adds up,” Donaldson says, beginning to list all the pads a player wears. Carson is generous, but says, “that is hard to believe.”
Luckily, fate is on the program’s side. “I just happened to bring my uniform tonight,” Donaldson says. “So, if you want me to suit up, I’ll show you what I’m talking about.” Carson, and Ed McMahon chiming in from the couch, seem thrilled. He directs Donaldson to head backstage
As they wait, Carson goes on to share that he tried to play football in high school, but he weighed only 145 pounds and quit after two weeks. “He doesn’t look like he weighs much more than 105,” he added. McMahon then shared that he played football in the marines and at Boston College.
“Chuck, are you changed yet?” Carson calls out. “Yeah. I’m all ready, Mr. Carson,” Donaldson replies. “We’ll see what kind of a change a uniform will make,” Carson says.
Out walks a man who now towers over Carson, and who outweighs Donaldson by probably 100 pounds. Plus, the first Donaldson was white, and this new Donaldson is Black. Carson stands up and says, “Really incredible. You’re much taller.” They shake hands. Carson wishes him luck, and Donaldson walks away.
The crowd shares in a solid laugh. But no one seems to find it funnier than Carson, whose eyes suggest he knows just how wonderfully stupid it all was. The real joy of the bit is Carson’s commitment to it all. It is best enjoyed on a re-watch, watching the subtle movements of Carson’s body, trying to get inside the head of man who knows whether comedy is working better than anyone.
“Okay,” he says to the audience. “How many of you bought that up until then?” It’s the kind of conceptual bit that David Letterman, who began hosting Late Night that year, would come to master.
Carson then introduces the sketch performers. The first Donaldson was played by Jim Cox. The second was Ralph Allen, an NBC employee.
“I remember when it aired,” one person wrote on YouTube. “I was one of those viewers totally hoodwinked by Carson.”
Despite Carson’s insistence that The Tonight Show would not take sides, in its own way, the bit plays as sympathetic to the players. Cox as Donaldson #1 makes quite clear the case for increased compensation for the players. Equal airtime with a twist.
Carson then goes on to interview Frontiere, who Carson bills as the first and only female NFL franchise owner in history. (This was a common misconception at the time. She was the second, after Violet Bidwill Wolfner, who took over the Chicago Cardinals in the 1940s.)
Naturally, Carson asks Frontiere about the strike. “I want to have the strike end so we can play football, that’s all I care about,” she says to cheers.
But Carson isn’t ready to pivot away that easily. He goes on to quote Gene Upshaw, an NFLPA representative and guard for the Oakland Raiders, who said the players just had to last one day longer than the owners. “Well, maybe he can,” Frontiere replied. “He’s a pretty big fella.”
The conversation ends with a return to clothing. Frontiere gifts Carson a Velcro towel, one commonly used in locker rooms and embroidered with the Rams logo. Carson sports it swimmingly.
Frontiere then says the Rams would be open to trying out players over fifty. “Well,” Carson replies, “when I reach that age, I’ll show up.”
Watch the full epsiode below: