'Boring' Colbert Claps Back at 'Crusty Old Dingus' Trump

For the second night in a row, a late-night host found themselves responding to a direct attack from Donald Trump in their opening monologue.

This time it was Stephen Colbert‘s turn to take on the former president after Trump layed into him in a new Truth Social post, calling Colbert—among other things—”very boring and “a complete and total loser.”

Not unlike Jimmy Kimmel’s response to a different attack from the former president Tuesday night, Colbert seemed to take great glee in being the target of Trump’s scorn, reading portions of the former president’s post in Trump’s voice and responding in kind.

In response to Trump calling him “not funny,” and (oddly) “not wise,” Colbert temporarily donned a wise man’s beard as he retorted “Not wise? how dare you sir. How dare you! May I remind you of the immortal words of Socrates, who said ‘Kiss my salty manbags, you crusty old dingus!'”

Stephen Colbert claps back after #Trump calls him "not funny" and "not wise": "Kiss my salty manbags, you crusty old dingus" pic.twitter.com/dUMWzORMn7
— LateNighter (@latenightercom) September 26, 2024

In response to Trump calling him “very boring,” Colbert explained that Trump was clearly reacting to the answer he’d given in an interview that aired on PBS Tuesday night after he was asked whether he’d have the former president on his show. “I’ve had him before and he was kinda boring, so no,” Colbert responded.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Colbert said, addressing his audience. “He’s clearly upset because I called him boring. And I called him boring because I knew it would upset him. Which it did, because he’s so predictable. Which is ultimately what makes him kinda boring.”

"VERY BORING" Stephen Colbert on new Trump rant: "He's clearly upset because I called him boring. And I called him boring because I knew it would upset him. Which it did, because he's so predictable. Which is ultimately what makes him kinda boring." pic.twitter.com/43fTQIUky4
— LateNighter (@latenightercom) September 26, 2024

Finally Colbert responded to Trump’s assertion that CBS should terminate the Late Show host’s contract “and pick almost anyone, right off the street, who would do better, and FOR FAR LESS MONEY.”

“Well okay. I disagree, but to be fair I’m going to give a shot,” Colbert announced as he summoned a Times Square Elmo into the studio and asked him to read from the teleprompter. Said Elmo was then revealed to be Bravo’s Andy Cohen. (Who’s no doubt hoping to be Donald Trump’s next target.)