SNL’s 1988 ‘All-Drug Olympics’ Sketch Saw Peter Thiel’s Enhanced Games Coming

Move over, The Simpsons—from now on, we’re counting on Saturday Night Live to predict the future. 

In 1988, SNL famously aired an “All-Drug Olympics” sketch as part of the show’s “Weekend Update” segment. Kevin Nealon reported live from the first-ever competition as a juiced-up weightlifter named Sergei Akmudov (played by Phil Hartman) attempted to break a clean and jerk world record.

“His trainer has told me that he’s taken anabolic steroids, Novocaine, NyQuil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer,” Nealon reported. “Also, I believe he’s had several cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this, of course, is perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics. In fact, it’s encouraged.”

The sketch took a grisly turn when Akmudov instead literally pulled his arms off, standing frozen with a shocked expression as blood spurted everywhere. “He’s pulled his arms off! He’s pulled his arms off!” Nealon shrieked. “He probably doesn’t have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow, he’s really gonna feel that.”

At the time, the segment was laughed off as over-the-top comedy. Now, however, the premise doesn’t seem quite as far-fetched. The Enhanced Games, a proposed alternative Olympic-style competition with zero drug testing, would bring the SNL sketch one step closer to becoming a reality.

“Welcome to the Enhanced Games, the ultimate demonstration of what the human body is capable of,” the official website reads. “The Enhanced Movement believes in the medical and scientific process of elevating humanity to its full potential, through a community of committed athletes.”

The organization, which is backed by former PayPal CEO Peter Thiel, claims that since “44 percent of athletes already use performance enhancements, it is time to safely celebrate science.”

Needless to say, “safely” is certainly a questionable descriptor to use here. Per reporting by The Guardian, the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has deemed the proposed competition as “dangerous and irresponsible.”

Still, Enhanced Games founder Aron D’Souza seems determined to bring his vision to life. Just like the SNL sketch, the use of performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)—or even technological enhancements—wouldn’t just be allowed, but actively encouraged

In addition to being backed by Thiel and other wealthy investors, D’Souza has already signed a deal with Ridley Scott and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia star Rob McElhenney’s production companies to create a 10-part docuseries about the first Enhanced Games.

“It promises to be one of the most compelling television events of all time,” D’Souza told The Guardian.

Well, to be fair, if the games are anything like that gory SNL bit, that’s probably true. 

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