Why should Maury Povich have all the fun? That seemed to be the impetus behind a recurring bit involving DNA tests on George Lopez‘s TBS talk show Lopez Tonight. This week on the Late Night Time Machine, we travel back to December 2010, when that bit had its greatest payoff thanks to a pair of big name guests.
Any list of the most underrated shows in the history of late night would have to include Lopez Tonight. It is the show that paved the way for Conan on TBS. And when the prince of late night eventually made his way over to the cable network, it was Lopez who kept the party going late.
Like so many comics of his generation, Lopez got his big break with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. (Decades later, he purchased the Rolex Watch Carson was wearing the night of his 1991 debut.)
The debut of his own late-night talk show aired at 11pm on November 9, 2009, making George Lopez the first-ever Mexican American to host an English-language late-night program.
The following year, Lopez Tonight moved back an hour to accommodate Conan. On the heels of his NBC drama, Conan O’Brien was careful to make sure he wasn’t stepping on any toes, going out of his way to get Lopez’s blessing. Lopez predicated that the pair would become “a same-sex Desi Arnaz and Lucille Ball.” Together, he said, they would “take late night into a new generation.”
One of the show’s most memorable bits began on December 13, 2010, with one of the most underrated late-night guests of all-time, Charles Barkley. The NBA legend, then well into his tenure as the co-host of TNT’s Inside the NBA, was Lopez’s guest that night. To watch the appearance now is to be teleported back to the midpoint of Barack Obama’s first term as president.
On the show, Lopez asks Barkley about comments made by then-Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who, as reported in the book Game Change, had said that Obama won because he was “light-skinned” and spoke “with no Negro dialect.” Without defending Reid’s comments (for which he later apologized to President Obama), Barkley seemed to agree with his core point. “If [Obama] was dark-skinned and had tattoos, he couldn’t get elected president,” Barkley said. “That’s just another form of racism, plain and simple.”
Lopez, acknowledging the irony of the pivot, then turned to race in another way. Before the episode, the Lopez Tonight team had sent Barkley a Flip video camera and asked him to take a DNA test. Lopez played video of Barkley swabbing the inside of his mouth on the Inside the NBA set. “Hey George, this is for your ass!” Barkley jokes into the camera. “I want to get sure I get every damn freeloader in my family, George,” he added, holding up the swab to the camera.
DNA tests were an established bit on the show. A year earlier, Larry David became the first guest to have his family history examined. Not long after, Jessia Alba received the same treatment. But on this night, the DNA test would become something much more: a competition between Barkley and Snoop Dogg.
Revealing the reason for the test, Lopez cited an online poll the show had conducted. “We asked the viewers, ‘Who is Blacker? You or Snoop?’” Lopez told Barkley, before sharing the results: 78% of viewers chose Snoop.
Barkley said he’d been following the poll and found it hilarious. Lopez asked what Barkley thought the DNA test would reveal. “I think he’s going to be Blacker,” Barkley said, “just because he didn’t have any creepers in his history.” Lopez then pulled out an envelope, a la Maury Povich, to reveal the results of Barkley’s test. Barkley, all smiles, shares that he is excited to learn the results.
Lopez reads the results: 0% Asian, 14% Native American, 11% European, and 75% Sub-Saharan African. Barkley reaches out and shakes Lopez’s hand. “I’m very proud of that. First of all, I’m very proud to be Black. I don’t use the term African American, I love the term Black,” he said. “But I’m glad, because I think everybody’s a mixture of somebody.”
“But 75%, that’s a good number,” he added. “Take that, Snoop Dogg.”
The following night, Snoop Dogg was Lopez’s guest. An announcer excitedly previews the “main event.” Lopez pulls out the envelope but first reminds the audience of Barkley’s 75%. He reads the results: 0% East Asian, 23% Native American, 6% European. “So, what does that mean?” Snoop Dogg nervously asks, seemingly doing the math in his head.
“Charles Barkley is 75% Sub-Saharan African, aka Black,” Lopez said. “Drum roll please: Snoop Dogg, you are 71% Sub-Saharan African.” Gasps from the audience, again, a la Maury Povich.
“Oh no!” Snoop declared, taking the card from Lopez, laughing. “I want to feel like George Bush right now, we got to have a re-vote,” he said. “This ain’t right.” Lopez then cut to a video of Barkley reacting to the news.
“Thank you for this honor,” Barkley says in the video, wearing a full king’s outfit. “I am the Notorious DNA.” He goes on to tell Snoop that he would like to meet him in person someday. “Hey, but Snoop, I’m just gonna call you Whitey from now on,” he added.
Before the end of the video, Barkley took the opportunity to make his criticism of the Senate majority leader a little more clear. “Let me tell you something else, Harry Reid,” Barkley said. “You keep pissing us Black people off, I’m gonna whoop your ass.”
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