In his weekly column for LateNighter, Chris “Wally” Feresten, (a.k.a. the guy who holds the cue cards on Saturday Night Live, Late Night with Seth Meyers, and beyond) shares stories from his remarkable career. Got a question you’d like Wally to answer in a future column? Send it to [email protected].
Charles Barkley is a Hall of Fame NBA player, a four-time Sports Emmy Award winner for his TV hosting, and a four-time host of SNL—each episode of which I was there for.
The first time Barkley hosted was in 1993. I was 27 years old, and it was my first year running the cue card department. I was learning on the job and losing my mind and wasn’t bonding with the hosts as I am able to do now. I was panicked and nervous and just trying not to get fired or replaced.
The one memory I have from that first show is Charles making fun of my hair. Again, I was 27, so I had way more hair than I do now, and I kept it short and spiked up, which I’m guessing was already way out of style. During a break in rehearsal, he looked over at me and asked out loud, “What’s up with your hair? You look like a porcupine!” I fake laughed and bravely responded, “At least I have hair!” (He was bald even back then.) He shot back at me very quickly: “Well, if I had hair like that, I’d wish I was bald!”
It was all very playful, and everyone was laughing, including me. It was a little taste of how much fun this job can be when you’re relaxed and able to have fun with the host and cast.
Nearly 17 years later, in January of 2010, Charles returned to host. I asked him if he remembered me. He said he did and asked what had happened to my spiky hair. I told him I had changed it a long time ago, mainly because of his snarky comments. This wasn’t true, but he laughed; it was the beginning of us getting to know each other better.
During rehearsal, he started talking to me more, just normal chit-chat, but then gambling came up and we discovered that we both had that interest in common. We talked a great deal about different teams that we had bet on and bets he was making on games that night. The only thing that differed was the amounts he was betting compared to the much smaller amounts that I had bet. It’s always nice to have something in common with a celebrity; it made me feel important.
Two wild things happened that weekend—one of which could have surely gotten me fired (more on that below). This first story is one I talked about when I was a guest on Late Night with Seth Meyers, but it’s a good one, so I’ll repeat it here.
During run-through on Saturday, Chris Kelly, the SNL stage manager, came up to me and quietly told me that Barkley wanted to pull a prank on the cast. Charles was going to pretend to be mad at me, yell at me, and then storm off the stage. No one was in on this but Charles, Chris, and myself and I was totally game. Chris let him know I was in, and the prank was on.
I don’t remember the exact sketch it happened during, but almost the entire cast was on set for it. As the actors were saying their lines, Barkley stopped rehearsal and started yelling at me saying things like, “Wally, what the f**k are you doing with the cue cards?! You’re moving them all over the place and I can’t read them! You’re terrible! F**k this, I’m outta here!” And then he stormed off the set.
As he was passing Will Forte, Forte shouted to Charles, “Hit him!!” Charles got five or so steps off the stage, stopped, and then turned around and said, “It’s all good, I’m just messing with you guys.” Every single cast and crew member went from complete shock to huge belly laughs. My face had turned completely red: Even though I was in on the gag, it was embarrassing with everyone looking at me like I had done something wrong.
It was an amazingly fun moment, and it was all Charles’s idea. It literally stopped rehearsal in its tracks, which is something I had never seen happen in my entire time on the show up until that time—and has never happened since.
Once the laughter died down, I approached Will Forte and asked him why he wanted Charles to hit me. I thought we were friends. Forte claimed that he was trying to defuse the situation. I’m not quite sure I believed him, but we are still good friends to this day, so I guess we will never know.
Allowing Charles to use me as his punching bag to prank the cast brought the two of us closer as friends.
The second memorable thing that happened that weekend occurred on Friday afternoon. We were on a break from blocking a sketch and I was standing next to Chris Kelly and Charles was next to Kenan Thompson. I think all the gambling talk was making Charles anxious to gamble not just on sports. He asked the three of us if we would go with him if he could get a helicopter to pick us up that night after rehearsal and take us to Foxwoods Resort Casino in Connecticut. He promised he would get us all back in time for 1 p.m. rehearsal on Saturday.
We all looked at each other and were silent because I’m sure we had the same thought: This could be the greatest night of our lives, but it could possibly get us all fired. (Well, probably not Kenan, but Chris and I would be at serious risk.)
One of us asked Charles if it was even possible to get a helicopter on such short notice and he said he was sure he could arrange it. I think we all muttered, “Well, maybe,” and thankfully we started rehearsing again. For the rest of the day and night not one of us brought this excursion up and prayed that he wouldn’t either; fortunately, he never did. I truly believe it would have been an incredibly fun night, but also most likely would have ended my cue card career.
Charles hosted two more times—in 2012 and most recently in 2018—and each time brought us closer as friends. We text each other frequently, and he’s been one of my favorite hosts to work with. He’s a great guy to know, and I still fantasize about how amazing that casino night could have been.
If you would like your very own personalized cue card written and autographed by Wally, please go to cuecardsbywally.com and get all the information you will need. It’s the perfect gift for that late night comedy fan in your life.
