Stephen Colbert said goodbye to one of The Late Show’s most reliably absurd—and genuinely wholesome—bits with a retrospective twist Monday night.
In “Rescue Dog Rescue: Where Arf They Now?,” the host revisited the long-running segment that paired shelter dogs with celebrity guests spinning over-the-top fabrications to boost their adoption odds—this time framed as an update on the many dogs who found homes.
Colbert quickly undercut the premise. The real update, he admitted, is that they’re all living happy lives with their new families. “Which is boring,” he added, cueing up one last round of lies.
From there, the piece leaned fully into the bit’s signature silliness. One pup had earned a master’s degree and a black belt in karate. Another had supposedly become the “Martha Stewart of dogs”—complete with a prison stint for insider trading. A dog once featured with Mark Hamill was said to have entered witness protection, only to later run “the largest cocaine operation on the eastern seaboard.”
Other updates included a canine stage star inspired by Dua Lipa, a Werner Herzog–style documentary subject, and a body-swapping mishap involving Daniel Radcliffe. The segment even checked back in on Baxter, who once shared the stage with Chris Evans and now spends his days reflecting on that moment—“because honestly, wouldn’t you?”
The final joke belonged to Norbert, the only dog to appear three times, who Colbert claimed had stolen $40 million from The Late Show’s budget—the exact figure CBS has cited to explain the show’s cancellation.
Debuting in February 2017 with Aubrey Plaza, “Rescue Dog Rescue” ran a total of 27 editions over the years (plus a recent two-legged variant featuring members of Colbert’s soon-to-be-unemployed staff). Beneath the gag—guests telling outrageous lies to make dogs more “adoptable”—was a real partnership with North Shore Animal League America, and a genuine success rate: every dog featured ultimately found a home.
“I’m happy to say we were able to find homes for every dog we presented for adoption,” Colbert said in closing Monday night’s segment. “Bye-bye, my furry friends—and thanks for only occasionally peeing on me.”
