For his penultimate week on The Late Show, which starts tonight, Stephen Colbert has lined up a truly royal lineup of iconic late-night names: Stewart, Kimmel, Fallon, Oliver, and Meyers—the full “Strike Force Five”—on Monday night, and David Letterman, the man who created The Late Show, on Thursday.
An impressive assemblage. So, where does that leave Colbert for next week, his farewell week? Based on finale weeks of late-night past, the crème de la crème of celebrities should be expected to turn up to celebrate the show and its host.
But who is left? Many favorites have already dropped by: Neil deGrasse Tyson had one last cosmic visit; Billy Crystal killed with a special song parody that captured how much the host will be missed.
Barack Obama provided presidential gravitas and a non-endorsement for 2028; and Evie McGee Colbert, wife of 33 years, shared with the host one of the sweetest, warmest comedy bits you’ll ever see in late night.
How do you top any of that?
You could always go for a shocker: bring on a nemesis or two.
How about David Ellison, whose acquisition of Paramount has been widely linked by critics to the decision to mute Colbert’s devastating satiric voice in order to curry favor with the central target of that satirizing, the current occupant of the White House? That would be a must-see encounter.
Or Byron Allen, whose Comics Unleashed is replacing The Late Show? That would count as a generous gesture from a famously generous man. Colbert has already sent Allen a gracious note congratulating him on succeeding him in the time slot. (He was also kind enough not to mention that Allen actually purchased that privilege.)
For a true head-spinning idea, how about inviting Brendan Carr, FCC chairman, who publicly rejoiced over CBS’s decision to shut down Colbert’s show? Who wouldn’t want to see that conversation?
And maybe the true pièce de résistance? Number 47 himself, who has provided so much rich comedy material for Colbert over the past decade. That would be a booking for the ages, though it’s admittedly hard to imagine Donald Trump wanting to do anything with the Resistance but stomp it to pièces.
Each of these blockbuster bookings probably have the same chance of happening as Colbert replacing that mentalist as the entertainment at the rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
But there is one other guest who would make all of those others look almost earthbound.
In fact, Colbert has called him—and his predecessors—his “dream booking” for years.
It would even eclipse a Presidential appearance, because of the claim to a Higher Authority.
Yes, booking the Pope for a late-night comedy show is on par with recruiting Aaron Judge as a ringer in your family’s annual Wiffle ball Home Run Derby contest in your backyard. Everybody from Oprah to Donahue has talked about the Pope as the ultimate guest, but no positive smoke signals from the Vatican have ever emerged.
Just the idea leans toward the ludicrous: “And now for my next guest, please welcome… The Pope!”
Cue the Applause Sign.
Though Colbert has implied he’s made the big ask without success, he could be dissembling in service of the big reveal.
A normal weeknight booking? Impossible. A farewell-week benediction for the most openly Catholic host in late night? At least worth imagining.
For a surprising number of reasons, this possibility, in this special circumstance, seems like it would not have to rank with the sudden multiplication of loaves, fishes, or Green Room sushi.
Seriously, if any late-night host was ever going to be able to book a Pope, surely it would be Stephen Colbert. He is a man of real faith; he has professed it often on the air. He was an altar boy. He has worn ashes on his forehead on Ash Wednesday shows. Even after rising to stardom, he taught Catholic kids in the Confraternity of Christian Doctrine program in his parish in Montclair, NJ.
He has talked to fellow Catholics Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon about how moving their audience with Pope Francis was in 2024.
He also made the greatest Pope joke of all time. On The Colbert Report, after Pope Benedict abdicated to “emeritus” status and Pope Francis was installed, Colbert’s “character” was distressed, calling it: “One Pope over the line, Sweet Jesus.”
As for Leo, what pope would be more likely to be willing to sit down for a chat with Stephen Colbert? Leo is Chicago born and raised. Colbert broke out as a sketch performer with Chicago’s Second City and has deep affinity for the city, as he proved in his talk with Obama last week.
Leo, who has been outspoken in his views on the Iran war and other subjects that have drawn hostile reactions from Donald Trump, has made himself a topic Colbert has addressed in monologues on his show.
He’s American, which means not only does he speak better English than any previous papal office holder, he is the first pope able to vote for President of the United States. He and Colbert would have much to talk about.
And even though a case could be made that the pope doesn’t need to stir up the notoriously volatile president any further, endangering cordial relations between the U.S. and the Vatican, this pope has shown signs that he isn’t as easily intimidated as, say, the Speaker of the House.
It’s not outlandish to think Leo has seen Colbert on TV, or even on stage at Second City on a night out with his brothers in Chicago in the 1990s.
Does that mean he might shock the world (and the White House) by making an appearance in the Ed Sullivan Theater sometime next week? Maybe not, but the notion might have some special appeal for him. Leo is more than slightly likely to have been watching as an eight-year-old in the Chicago suburb of Dolton in 1964 when the Beatles played on that very stage.
You might even say it would make complete sense for him to appear on a stage that had already been blessed—by those Beatles, Elvis, the Stones, and Topo Gigio, the little Italian mouse.
Yes, it might be hard to sneak the pope into New York City, up Broadway, and backstage through the artists’ entrance. But a quick trip to Rome, a sit-down in the papal residence, 20 minutes on camera?
Bigger miracles have happened.
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The Pope’s a longshot for certain!