Bill Maher returned to Real Time Friday night with three pages of Donald Trump grievances to answer—and, despite his stated desire not to fight, plenty of jokes ready to go.
“Did you see the 1,300-word tweet he sent out?” Maher asked, referring to Trump’s record-length Truth Social post attacking him earlier this week. “Longest ever. Kind of a flex.”
Trump’s post came two days after Maher used last week’s Real Time to defend his second White House dinner with the president while also delivering several cutting jokes at Trump’s expense.
“Eating with Trump was like dating Taylor Swift,” Maher joked Friday. “It’s a lot of laughs at the time, but in time they are tearing you a new asshole.”
But Maher also expressed disappointment over the latest rupture.
“Look, I don’t want it to be this way,” he said. “The whole point of having these dinners was talk. Disagree, but listen—which he does in person. Don’t hate each other. Then I go back to my job here, and then the heartaches begin.”
Maher said he wouldn’t rebut all 1,323 words, but he did take on several of Trump’s claims, reading from a three-page printout of Trump’s post.
When Trump called him a “COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER,” Maher conceded the point.
“You got me there,” he joked. “Okay. I will own that.”
He more seriously challenged Trump’s claim that Maher opposed his military actions against Iran, playing past Real Time clips to show that he had supported strikes against the country.
Maher also rejected Trump’s claim that he had repeatedly sought meetings with him.
“He talks about how I called him incessantly,” Maher said. “I’ve never called you. You’ve called me.”
“I’d be afraid to call you,” he added. “You’re the president. I think you’re too busy. Well, plainly not.”
And when Trump wrote that Maher had alcohol in his hand while walking through the White House, Maher shot back: “That you gave me.”
Perhaps the biggest laugh came when Maher reached Trump’s abrupt assessment after pages of insults: “Overall, I thought it was a good meeting.”
Trump had also accused Maher of catering to a fan base “mostly composed of Losers.”
Maher turned to his studio audience.
“That would be you assholes,” he said.
Trump ended Sunday’s post by calling their latest dinner a “waste of time” and telling Maher, “Bill: Don’t call anymore. It’s useless.”
Maher, for his part, insisted Friday that he was still trying to avoid another full-scale feud.
“You know, I’m trying not to fight,” he told his first guest, Sen. Ted Cruz. “I’m not. I could be meaner.”
Watch Maher’s complete remarks at the top of this post.
