To kick off its Season 51 finale this weekend, Saturday Night Live scared up the late Jeffrey Epstein, as portrayed by host and former cast member Will Ferrell.
The Cold Open saw President Donald Trump (James Austin Johnson) having just flown back from his trip to China, “and boy are my legs swollen!,” he revealed to VP JD Vance (Jeremy Culhane).
Trump dismissed his veep, as it was time “for one of my midwork naps.” But just as he got to dreaming, he was haunted by Epstein.
“But Jeffrey, I thought you were dead,” said the puzzled POTUS.
“I am,” Epstein affirmed. “Remember, I killed myself—wink!”
Epstein reported that Heaven is “really, really hot,” and that he plays mahjong with the likes of Joseph Stalin and serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Oh, and he was one of the writers for the recent Kevin Hart roast on Netflix.
Trump in turn updated his convicted sex-trafficker, pedophile pal that as president he’s getting ready for America to host the World Cup, he’s holding a UFC fight on the White House lawn “like I’m white trash,” and he recently announced the Patriot Games featuring “high school students.”
“Boi-oi-oing!” effused Epstein.
As a ghost, Epstein offered Trump visions of the future—including ousted DHS Secretary Kristi Noem (Ashley Padilla) toiling away as an HSN host, and SecDef Pete Hegseth (Colin Jost) hosting a podcast with FBI Director Kash Patel (returning guest Aziz Ansari). The bros’ pod is sponsored by Patel’s cologne, “Incompetence for Men,” and Heg’s “Poland Sprung,” the first-ever hard water.
In this future, “Is the war in Iran over?” asks Trump. “Yep,” Ep confirms. “We came in second.”
Epstein then gets melancholy, telling Trump that “no matter how many wars you start, no matter how bad you tank the economy as a distraction, people will always associate you with me—and as my dear, close friend, that is a beautiful thing.”
Trump seemed to agree, and was visibly touched as Epstein launched into a rendition of “Just the Two of Us,” and even joined in.
Watch the Cold Open below:
the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein pays Trump a visit pic.twitter.com/CjxMmIdYpT
— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) May 17, 2026
