Stephen Colbert had a “cent”-sational surprise for his audience on Wednesday.
With the U.S. Mint having struck its last circulating pennies back in November, Colbert on Wednesday night’s Late Show held a memorial service of sorts for the copper/copper-plated zinc coin.
“The worst thing to ever happen to Abraham Lincoln’s head,” he quipped of the one-cent piece being put out to pasture. (Too soon?)
The penny is “woven into our very language and our culture,” he noted, citing such terms as “penny pinching,” “penny ante,” “pitching pennies,” and “pennies from heaven.”
“And olde audience members might remember how back in the day, you could fix a blown fuse by sticking a penny in the socket,” he reminisced, “which to this day remains the most cost-effective way to burn your house down.”
What people have not been talking about since the penny landed on death row, Colbert observed, was “the biggest loss of all”—the “American institution” that is the penny press machine, which was introduced at the Chicago World’s Fair in 1893. “You want excitement? For 51 cents, could have an oblong, flattened memento” of many a tourist destination.
With 300 billion pennies still in circulation—and increasingly fewer things to do with them (now that stories are rounding off prices at the register)—Colbert cued the on-stage rollout of a penny press machine he had commissioned from The Penny-Press Machine Co. in Little Canada, Minnesota.
President Abraham Lincoln (Late Show writer/recurring player Brian Stack) accompanied the machine, as did two showgirls with giant pennies strapped to their backs. Abe proceeded to demonstrate the device, cranking out a flattened penny bearing one of four imprint options—in this case, the very meta design of a penny face with its “1793-2025” birth/death date.
The other design options, Colbert shared, commemorate his terminal Late Show‘s 11-year run, which will end May 21: the host’s face, a group shot of house band Louis Cato and the Great Big Joy Machine, and an exterior of The Ed Sullivan Theater, where The Late Show (first with David Letterman as host) has taped since August 1993.
Colbert announced that the penny press machine would be set up in the theater lobby, for Wednesday’s and upcoming audience members to use as they exit tapings. “Everyone here is going to go home with one,” he promised the crowd.
Then, once The Late Show itself ends, he quipped, the custom-made penny press will be “shoved off the Triborough Bridge” and into the East River.
I collected smashed pennies and would love to have these. Are they going to b available to the public outside New York? Great fund raiser for World Kitchen.
I would love to buy one. Is it possible?
How about making this a fund raiser for World Kitchen? I can’t get to New York, but I have PayPal!
EXACTLY!
I’m with them. Would like to have the whole (with a w) set. I only have a couple of smashed pennies, but they are good ones. One is from Uranus, the fudge packing factory on Missouri route 66, and the other is from the big ass C-store, Buc-ee’s. (rhymes with buckeys). Now you are likely wondering why you would be so kind to share an item like this with someone you’ve never known. Well: 1) Chicken salad with cashews added at The Sub Shop here in Springfield. 2) Key to the ’77 Volvo that I wrecked during the covid days. 3) I’d have to say Honey Badger. As long as the Plumes guy hadn’t got there first. 4) Apples 5) Yes, but nobody has ever asked for mine unless I gave ’em a credit card first. 6) If I have my way, we’ll get to meet up with our family and pets again. 7) Blazing Saddles.8) I’m like Lloyd’s boy, good weed. 9) Dead animal. After all, there is no BAD weed. 10) Probably is. 11) Flat. It’s what I’m used to. 12) KWPQ-LP Springfield 103.3 FM. It’s a blues station. 13) Phish – 2001 space odyssey. 14) 43 (Richard Petty). 15) Better with hand cranked pennies.
Now that you’ve been enlightened, how about you give a guy a break.
if you don’t watch TV, it is truly hocking at what currently passes for comedy.
You disgrace Carson’s name with that!
Do tell.
Carson was funny. Does anyone laugh when watching late night comedy anymore? Perhaps I’m just out of touch, but TV humor no longer resonates with me. There are funny comedians performing today, but not on television.
If these shows were funny, they wouldn’t be getting canceled.
Maybe just go to sleep, rather than stay up and watch them, if they upset you so!
I’m not upset at all. I just don’t find the humor funny. Did you even watch the clip this page is highlighting? if so, did you laugh? When? If so, I’ll watch it again.
To date, no one has yet explained how I have disgraced Carson’s name. I’d like to know.
Me: This isn’t funny.
You: You’re a disgrace!
Me: If these shows were funny, they wouldn’t be getting canceled
You: Maybe just go to sleep
Me:Please tell me what made you laugh
You: Do get over yourself, suck!
Me: This has been a less than enlightening conversation. You just might have a promising future in late night comedy.
You’re just whiny and sad!
Go for it!
it’s possible you’d be funnier than me. It’s all but guaranteed you’d rate better than the current lineup.
Sorry, not sorry for pointing that out!
funnier
Start your own show!
Fummier
Is a guarenteed hit!
You can’t admit to being an out of touch crybaby!
So I think we should set aside our grievances because I’ve worked through the pilot episode of Fummier.
I’ll begin with an opening monologue. It might be a little dull, but I promise I can make at least the dumbest of audience members laugh.
As the more witty members begin to loose interest, you interrupt with “A terminal cancer diagnosis would be funnier than you!” (I’ve already told three coworker that joke and none can stop laughing!) It’s brilliant! They all say you’re funnier than Carson (the other one).
We can book popular musical acts (I’m hopelessly out of touch, so that’s on you) , some dancing girls, plus a long winded self-righteous political commentator. We’ll wrap it all up with recurring stupid pet owner tricks.
Whatcha say, old buddy, old pal?
Also, don’t sweat that spelling error. I forgive you.
Friend, why all the anger?
I can admit to my mistakes!; You are correct, I am an anti social turd, However, I have begun reaching out to strangers, at least online. Thanks be being so supportive.
I hate to be critical but you mentioned I was immature and infantile. Isn’t every infant immature? I suspect you are being repetitive, which is not indicative of good writing. Since we’ll be working together on our late night comedy show, you’ll need to improve your grammar or you’re going to be driving me crazy. Please don’t fret, I’ll be more than happy to continue to correct you until your writing skills improve.
If that’s a threat, that’s illegal, but I’ll assume you’re joking. It’s not funny humor, but you are certainly not alone in that (which ironically circles back to my original post).However, I don’t understand your repeated pedophile references. If there is one thing to not make jest about, it’s harming kids.
I also collect smashed pennies. I inherited my father’s collection. He got his first smashed penny when one of the people he delivered newspapers to brought him back one from the Seattle World Fair! I would love to have a set, especially if the proceeds go to charity!
I need these! Especially the bands sweet smiles getting me through dark times and Covid. Please !
how can I gat a pressed coin for my wife who loves watching Steven Colbert
Can we buy a penny from the Late Show press in the theater lobby ? If so how much per coin?
where is the penny machine going to go after The Late Show closes in May
Why can’t we purchase these directly?
Thank you 😎 🤞
Colbert really needs to make the pennies available to the public. It would be a great fundraiser.
Some given to the audience will no doubt be on EBay at inflated prices.
I saw your show with the penny press & would like to get a set to add to my collection. I have over 200 pressed Pennie’s in my collection. They are from all of our family vacations. Every where we go I always ask if they have one or know where I can get one wherever we go. It reminds me why and where we went on our vacation . Hopefully you make them available to us to buy. Please don’t throw it in the river that would be a waste. Sell sets & donate the money to your charity. Then donate the machine to a museum to Allways remember your show & the penny can live on if you still have one ♥️🫵 show!!
I want them all! Will you be able to purchase them online.?.. I’ll even provide the pennies!