Are we sure the Byron Allen deal is locked down…? Because the final installment of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert‘s “Kids Pitch” might just have CBS rethinking its plans for the 11:35 p.m. time slot.
In “Kids Pitch,” Colbert consults a cluster of grade schoolers to brainstorm ideas for a new TV show or movie—and then enlists an array of special guest stars to bring it to life.
The recurring segment, which Colbert first introduced in 2017, has produced a total of five different projects over the years, including the Halloween flick Inside Goodbye: HELL-O! (starring Jonathan Groff and Natalia Dyer), the blockbuster movie Teenage War (starring Andrew Garfield and Idina Menzel), and the superhero film Bulbo and the Strange Villain (starring Walton Goggins, Steve Buscemi, Amanda Seyfried, and Lizzy Caplan).
This time around, on Thursday night’s Late Show, Colbert recapped a few “Late Night Is Dead” headlines, then explained that the format is “on life support” because there’s an exodus of young people from linear TV.
“For late night to survive, it’s got to appeal to younger viewers,” he added. Colbert then handed the proverbial wheel to an octet of rugrats, for “Kids Pitch: Late Night Edition.”
After inviting the kids to identify a photo of David Letterman (“Dumbledore!” was the consensus), Colbert cycled through a laundry list of talk show elements.
For the set, the kids pitched an island that guests have to “swim” up to (all while dodging sharks and dolphins). The host is named “Rebecca,” and she wears a “sparkly” teal dress.
Turning to guests (who, like the host, sit on bean bag chairs), one young consultant pitched YouTuber Mark Rober, who has appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live. But as Colbert made crystal clear, “We don’t follow Kimmel in our bookings. You gotta hold a hard line.”
One of the girls chided Colbert for the stance, saying that late-night TV isn’t some contest. “Then why did I win the Emmy this year?” he shot back. The girl cleverly countered, “It’s not that you’re the best at talking, people just like you. You should know this stuff!”
A boy named James Smith, who insisted he’s of Nordic lineage, instead pitched Thor as a guest, making clear the hard “T” pronunciation, while a classmate cast her vote for the Avett Brothers to serve as house band.
For comedy material, the kids highly recommended, of course, “6-7,” and whatever “chicken banana” is, plus the joke: “What is the queen of the pencil case? The ruler.”
As for the host’s go-to catchphrase/gimmick, the kids were high on one of those guns that shoot fake money into the crowd.
And the name of this new, youth-targeted talker? Evening Island with Rebecca.
The latest “Kids Pitch” project then came to fruition, in a sketch that cast Jenny Slate as Evening Island‘s host, Liam Neeson as (an Irish) Thor, The Pitt‘s Isa Briones and Taylor Dearden as additional guests, and at least one Avett Brother for the house band.
Alas, John Oliver failed to make his appearance on Evening Island, as he was gobbled up by a shark.
Watch “Kids Pitch: Late Night Edition” from Thursday night’s Late Show below:
